we have pet lesbian snakes
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You have to summon your inner elephant
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
