I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Randomize
