I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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