i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
