Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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