Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
