Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
