The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
