So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
