I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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