Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
