Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I love having hate sex.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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