UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I understand Curling. That high.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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