how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
