walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
