I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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