I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
