**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
