think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I cockslap morals
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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