I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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