Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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