what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
