I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize