so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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