I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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