I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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