i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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