why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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