don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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