Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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