Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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