What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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