Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
