Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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