I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
