It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
