i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
