I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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