im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
