every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Randomize
