I didn't shave. On purpose
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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