You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
