I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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