There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
