No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
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