That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
