I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
