He had one of those small greek statue penises
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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