fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
