So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
