we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
