Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
