No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
