Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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