The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
