On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
