Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
